28 December 2013

A Winter Veil Warble

In a fit of creativity I decided to try my hand at something different - namely, fanfic written not about original characters but rather well-known names in the Wowverse. My references for this piece can be found at Gallywix's character piece and the original A Christmas Carol. It is very long, though not as long as the original, so I've hidden most of it behind a cut.


Through a series of unfortunate events, all of them accidental and decidedly unorchestrated by any conniving individual, former Trade Prince Maldy was dead. He had been dead for some time now, having met his regretable and completely unintentional demise shortly after being banished from Kezan. Trade Prince Gallywix knew this to be fact; he had the documents confirming, that is, announcing the sad news. He had the unmarked boxes, each packed with explosives, from Maldy's daughter; one for every year that had passed since Maldy's death. And most obviously, most importantly, Gallywix had the title of Trade Prince, the very same one he had worked from Maldy's incompetent fingers.

It was the eve of the Feast of Winter Veil, and Gallywix was in his typical place for any evening - that is to say, he was in his office, at his desk, poring over profit reports while his Number One, Mida Silvertongue, worked diligently beside him. The door opened, which was unusual because Gallywix had specifically given his guards authorization to shoot any interruptions, and besides, all of his booby traps were on hair triggers. If someone had made it past all that, it had to be...

"Happy Winter Veil, son! I got what you need!" Luzik Gallywix waltzed into the office, deftly side-stepping the obvious snake pit and two better-concealed spike traps. He was carrying what appeared to be a brightly-wrapped present. It ticked conspicuously.

"Bah!" said Gallywix. "Ripoff!"

"Winter Veil a ripoff, my boy?" said Luzik. "When I went through the trouble of inventing this just for you? I don't understand why you won't include it in your product line!"

"And I don't understand why you are wasting my valuable time with this. I told you that R&D declared explosive pool ponies unprofitable weeks ago. It would be a ripoff for me to produce your invention. And not the good kind! The kind that rips me off!" He looked at Mida for backup, but she studiously kept her eyes on her work.

"Come now, sonny, don't get mad."

"What else can I be when I'm surrounded by idiots?" Gallywix did not notice his companion's eyes flick towards him. "Happy Winter Veil! What good is it? What's the Feast but a time to throw gold away on gifts and food, to stuff yourself so senseless that you can't balance your own books, to go chasing across Azeroth after some reindeer when you could be drumming up new trade agreements? If I had my way, every moron who goes around saying 'Happy Winter Veil' would have their pockets turned out and their lives indentured to my mines." He glared at his father. "You spend Winter Veil pissing coin away, and I'll spend it making sales."

"Sales of everything but my invention!" Luzik shot back. "What is Winter Veil if not a time for impulse buys? People are so excited about food and fun that they can be more easily talked into purchases they are unsure about!"

Gallywix noticed Mida watching Luzik thoughtfully and frowned at her. "Oh no, don't let this guy give you any ideas. We are not marketing the exploding pool pony. And you," he rounded on Luzik. "I want you out of here before I call security. The ones with battle boars."

"At least come over and have a look at the blueprints!" Luzik protested, backing towards the door.

"As if I could spare the time," Gallywix snarled. "Time is money."

"I could develop something more marketable!"

"Time is money!"

"At least accept this as a Winter Veil gift from a father to his son?" Luzik held out the package, which no doubt also contained documents on construction, pricing, and billing.

"Time is money!" Gallywix concluded, slamming the office door in his father's pleading face. He stalked to the window, where Azshara, serene and chill under a faint layer of frost, stretched out before his stone visage. Behind him, he heard the clock chime and Mida begin to collect her things. He paid her until five, and she was finished working when the clock ticked over.

He turned towards her. "I suppose you'll want all day tomorrow."

She shrugged on her coat, a gaudy, leathery tribute to fashion. "Yeah. It's in my contract, after all."

Gallywix snorted. "So it is, although I don't know why I agreed to a full day's wages and no work out of it."

"Because I'm the best, and I'm worth every penny," Mida replied airily, letting herself out.

Damn her for being right. "Be early the next day!" he shouted after her.

24 December 2013

#FFW A GIF(t) from Kamalia!

I may have mentioned that I had managed to forget who my FFW was by routinely sending out the emails and not paying too much attention. WELL. That certainly made this INCREDIBLE gift all the more exciting! I've always known that Kamalia was a very talented artist, but this is above and beyond...!! Thank you SO MUCH to Kamalia, who actually MADE A GIF.

My Dear Akabeko,

I was so delighted when I saw that I'd drawn you! At first, I thought I'd make you a post of animated gifs. But I chickened out of trawling the internets for suitable images, and I wasn't quite sure what I wanted the "storyline" of the post to be, anyway. So I decided to make you an animated "front cover" picture for your stories about Akabeko and Weipon. I'm sure you know this already, but be sure to open the file with a web browser to see it run. I hope that you will hear a certain little electronic tune in your head as you watch the gif play. I've also included some still shots of the eight poses used in the animation.

Happy Winter Veil and Merry Christmas!
 :D Kamalia


I can't decide what I like best about this. Is it Aka's cute little face? The fact that Wei helpfully jumps to get that last coin? The little fluffy cloud or the delightfully pixelated text? Or maybe it's the incredible detail in their respective outfits... At any rate, I am ready to use this ALWAYS AND FOREVER for the fic!!!

22 December 2013


Hey guys! The FFW emails have gone out, so I hope everyone is working hard on their blog post gifts for their recipients :) I am making this the masterpost, and I'll continue to re-advertise it as gift posts begin to trickle in!

My winter holiday is fast approaching (going to Florida on Xmas Eve OH YEAH *pelvic thrusts aggressively*), so I'm trying to plan out my end of the year posting schedule and goals  for the coming year.

Of course, I'll be working on my own FFW gift, and hopefully posting a very nice one! (You'll love this...immediately after sending all the emails I forgot who ended up getting me in the draw, so it will be a surprise EVEN TO ME.) I hope you won't mind me reposting a holiday parody fic I wrote in a previous year because, not to peel own banana, but I'm really proud of it and it still makes me giggle.

I have a LW post percolating in my creative coffee maker, and there will OF COURSE be more of the current story that Dah and I are working on. Alas, the next few chapters are all on me, so the delay is entirely my fault. In addition to that, I'm hoping to pull out one or two extremely old pieces of fiction that I wrote when first fleshing out the personalities for my various toons. Of course, the blog will not become entirely fiction (although it seems to have skewed that way), as I will also be posting the usual rants, screenshots, and wacky experiences. Fear not, though, as I recently caught up on my personal blog posting schedule, which means good things for the future! It can be done!

In non-WoW gaming news, I recently got myself a 3DS and tried to play the first Animal Crossing game. What followed was a series of increasingly troubling interactions with my questionable benefactor (Nook's Cranny who came up with that), hilariously infuriating searches for neighbors waiting for packages but had decided to wander off into the trees, and the extremely upsetting realization that when a honeycomb falls out of a tree YOU SHOULD NOT TRY TO LOOT IT.

After filling my tiny house with the usual clutter (mostly seashells and flowers stolen from neighbors' yards) I moved on to Pokemon X, where I was DELIGHTED to learn that after choosing name you can choose a NICKNAME which is the best thing that has ever happened. Let's exchange friend codes *_*

07 December 2013

#FFW reminder and excitement!

Hi guys! Slow posting because I still don't have internet at my new apartment and I don't like working on blog posts at...WORK! WHERE I WORK NOW BECAUSE I HAVE A JOB! ME, A JOB! AAAHHH!

By which I mean, stay tuned! You have a little over a week left to sign up for Furtive Father Winter 2013, and I know you want to, because look at this all-star cast of participants!
Escapist Scrawl
Sugar & Blood
Lib Feathers Fanfiction
Frost and Claws
The Daily Frostwolf
Admiring Azeroth
The Harpy's Nest
Plenty of Paladins
Kamalia et Alia
Sheep the Diamond
The Crimson Hammer
Red Cow Rise
*If you've messaged me as of Dec 10 and are not on this list, please message me again!

And if that's not enough winter madness for you, it's not too late to join in Matty's Solstice Advent Blog challenge! Do it for me! Do it for the haiku!

01 December 2013

#FFW Furtive Father Winter 2013!

(Father) Winter is coming! It's time to cozy up near the fireplace (or get your sunbathing on, as the case may be) and await the yearly coming of Greatfather Winter.

The time has come for the 5th annual Blog Azeroth Furtive Father Winter blogger gift exchange! Bloggers are encouraged to sign up, create a post for their randomly-assigned gift recipient, and publish the gift they receive from their furtive Father Winter! You don't need to be a BA member (although I highly recommend it), but you do need a place to publish gifts.

The process is simple:

1. Between now and December 15th, email me using my comment form or reply to this post. I need your name, email address, and blog URL.
2. On December 16th, I will pair up participants and email everyone with the name, email address, and blog URL of their gift recipient.
3. Gift givers should then learn about their recipient and create a gift post using prose, poetry, music, graphic art, screenshots, or anything else that inspires them. There is no quantity requirement; just make sure it's something you might like to receive as a present!
4. Between December 20th and 31st, please deliver your gift, and publish what you receive on your blog. Be sure to credit the gift-giver so we can appreciate all the creativity!

Last year there was an amazing turnout. My only word of caution is, if you aren't sure you'll have time to create a present, please think hard before signing up! We don't want anyone going away without a post.

Feel free to grab this year's graphic and advertise for this on your blog or twitter. The more the merrier!

This year's participants! The Furtive Father Winters will be revealed as the gifts are received and posted.
Escapist Scrawl from The Daily Frostwolf!
Sugar & Blood from Escapist Scrawl!
Lib Feathers Fanfiction from Admiring Azeroth!
Frost and Claws from Sugar and Blood!
The Daily Frostwolf from The Crimson Hammer!
Admiring Azeroth from red cow rise!
The Harpy's Nest from Frost and Claws!
Plenty of Paladins from Sheep the Diamond!
Kamalia et Alia from The Harpy's Nest!
Sheep the Diamond from Plenty of Paladins!
The Crimson Hammer from Lib Feathers Fanfiction!
red cow rise from Kamalia et Alia!