23 April 2011

[Shared Topic] Goblin Editorial

The Economics of Ecofriendly Living

Sprinkie Sparklefizz is a renowned auction house mogul, a respected mage, and the current head of Sparklefizz Industries. She enjoys economic PVP and melting faces.

I'll put it to you straight: environmental destruction is not profitable. Not in the long run. I know this isn't a popular opinion, but it has to be said. If we make our environment unlivable, we will die before we can profit. Here is the problem as I see it: we are treating the whole of Azeroth as our personal estate and it's about to make business rough for us.

To the goblins in Azshara, I'm speaking to you as a fellow survivor of our demolished home. What we did to Kezan, what we are doing to Azshara now; it's not sustainable. Azeroth is a big place, but that doesn't mean we can, or should, take all of its resources without a care for how they will be replenished. 

Let's start small. Our settlement in Orgrimmar has quickly become known as a slum, and the water we contaminated has not made us any friends. If we want the trolls and orcs as allies, especially economically, we will need to rein in the toxic waste we are producing in their city. We can't monopolize trade with hostile races.

The Cataclysm has seriously limited resources as we renavigate the changed face of the planet. Those who followed the news in Kezan will already know what I am talking about - we have spent years inventing temporary solutions for what we know would become a crisis of resources and space. Although the space available to us has expanded, we should take this message to heart and take care of the land before it gives out on us.

We should take our inspiration from the Steamwheedle Cartel, whose outposts in Everlook, Gadgetzan, and Booty Bay have managed to exist in their respective locations without permanently altering the face of those environments. They take materials from their surroundings but do not convert it to serve their own aesthetics. And what's more, they maintain a high reputation with both Horde and Alliance factions and have a complete monopoly of inter-factional commerce. This is a prime example of what we should strive for when expanding into new environments. It bears mention that this is our competition I am referring to. We need to improve on their successful design if we are to stay competitive.

Our recent construction in Azshara suggests a dangerous precedent for a return to our construction habits of old. We must curb our destruction of the landscape and confine our impact on the area to the space and materials we need. The massive change from Kezan to Kalimdor is the perfect opportunity to reassess our building strategies in order to minimize our environmental impact and maximize our ability to generate profits.

excerpt from The Daily Auctioneer, Vol. 43, Issue 45


  1. This is utterly brilliant. A Goblin, arguing in Goblin rhetoric, for what are certainly my own feelings about the effect of Goblin activities on the environment of Azeroth (and so timely, for Earth Day, too!).

    I like the details you bring in, about the Goblin Slums in Orgrimmar and the contrast between the new Bilgewater cartel settlements in Azshara and the older Steamwheedle cartel towns elsewhere in Azeroth.


  2. Holy Cow...errmmm I mean crap! A fun post to read and ya as both an Orc Hunter and Tauren Druid I agree My beloved Orgrimmar has some rough tasting water lately. Excellent Analogies and I gotta wonder if there isn't a little real world rhetoric within the post. Anyways, have a great day!

  3. Yesss I'm so glad you liked it :D I rewrote it 4 times, stopping myself when my bleeding heart and love of flowery language turned it into "trees are so great; let's hug them!" It was a real challenge to not only write with a goblin style, but make goblin-friendly arguments!

  4. Heh - this made me smile over my morning coffee. Much as I'm failing to find the inspiration to write my own editorial... Much <3

  5. Brilliant write up! Not only does it tie in well with the Goblins of Azeroth, I think it also has a certain glint towards more RL based things as well. Gotta love the parallels between the two, whether they're intentional or not!

    Very well done : )