06 October 2010

Goblin Journal

Trade Prince is nearly mine, Journal. I`m way, way up in the polls - and in wealth, too. Sassy Hardwrench was the best investment I ever made. She`s an invaluable assistant and has really coached me to the top. With her people skills and my knack for raking in the macaroons, there`s no way we aren`t destined for greatness.

Lately I find myself seeing to smaller matters - loose ends, mostly, and ones I am taking care of personally. I popped down to the kaja`mite mines to check on some disturbances and it did feel good to let loose a few fireballs here and there. If I can swing a few more cheap contracts down there the situation should be under control in no time.

My amorous, leering, and eternally-shirtless squeeze Chip suggested I expand my wardrobe and throw a shindig. Bless his heart, he doesn`t have a whit of business sense, but his fashion sense is bar none. While I`m out and about running errands I`ll use my flashy new wheels to make a scene and be noticed. Think I`ll have a glass of Kaja to celebrate!

I`ve got good news and bad news, Journal.

It`s a little-known fact that I played a mean footbomb in college. While I was out...collecting debts...earlier, Coach Crosscheck begged me to step in for the big footbomb game against the Steamwheedle Sharks. A celebrity appearance couldn`t hurt, I thought, so I agreed to pilot his rigged shredder and win the game. The only problem is...I launched the winning goal all the way into Mt Kajaro and maaaay have caused it to erupt. Or awaken a murderous dragon.

Well, it flew away and you know, "Out of sight, out of mind" and all that. So I downed a Kaja and went to my party. It started off wonderfully; I was rubbing elbows with all sorts of important goblins, schmoozing like I`ve never schmoozed before! Just when I think I`m drumming up some new investors, some pirates showed up and crashed my party! I took a lot of them out, but the damage has already been done. That, and the volcano isn`t looking too good...

Everything`s gone bankrupt! Mt Kajaro is on the verge of erupting. The mines are lost and we`ve salvaged all the kaja`mite we can. Everyone is looking to me to solve this. I`ve had enough Kaja to power an invention factory, but now it only soothes my jitters. I need ideas! Bah, I`ve just spilled it all over the desk and onto my lap.

Gallywix beat me to the punch and is offering wildly expensive life boats off the island. I don`t have nearly the resources to compete with that, so I`ve been forced to break into my own vault and liberate my life savings. Sassy ran the numbers and calculated that I need the insurance from my house and some, ah, extra treasures from Gallywix`s estate. Like he`ll even notice.

It hurt to see my pad go up in flames. At least the resulting explosion was soothing. Gallywix`s goons were easy enough to fool, so I waltzed in and acquired some supplementary wealth. I`m going to head down to the docks with Sassy and see about booking us a trip off this island. I don`t know where the rest of my associates have gotten to.

My money...Journal, it`s bittersweet to hold my macaroons in my hands and physically behold my immense wealth while knowing that I`m about to spend it all. Handing this over will be the hardest thing I ever do.

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