Goblin Journal 3

03.10.10
I made it safely to the next island and we got our Town-In-A-Box all set up. Everybody's starving so I've been running around finding bigger and better eggs to feed them with. We started with clucker eggs from the wild cluckers on the island, upgraded to raptor eggs, and finally tried a giant egg from a giant chicken on the island. I think that was definitely a net loss. Oh, and in case you were wondering, Gallywix disappeared somewhere with some of our supplies. How rich.

Easy, little fella

From there it was really just problem after problem. Vicious naga infestation on the island? I get to be the one to deal with it. Take out the big ones, replace some of their flags with the Cartel's, oh and kidnap some of the young'uns. I'm not particularly proud of it, Journal, but I lured away some of the baby naga (cute little tykes, really), to use as a bargaining chip for a peaceful surrender. I would have much preferred to use cold hard cash, but as you may have noticed we are fresh out, and I don't even know what the naga consider valuable. At any rate, me and Ace headed out with the little guys and ended up in a heap of trouble when we discovered that some creepy faceless guy was controlling the naga in the area! Yeesh.

Ace: "I...gotta go!"

Then, just when I think I can take a break, as I'm getting back to the T-I-A-B, there's an invasion of pygmies!! No--really! And they have been carrying off other goblins and turning them into zombies with some weird magic! So then I get to run up the volcano, strap on some flamethrower boots, and incinerate what used to be my business partners! Well, I burn through all the zombies and take out the leaders of the pygmies. But do I get a break? Ohhhh no.

I'm blasting off again!

Now I get rocket boots to launch me up into the caldera of the volcano. Hobart's got some plan to destroy the big volcano-turtle that the pygmies have been feeding goblin sacrifices to. Naturally, it involves rockets. In the caldera of a volcano. Well in case you can't do the math, when I blew up the turtle the volcano decided to blow as well. Fortunately, Sassy came to the rescue (What did I tell you? Best investment I ever made) and got me out of there.

And do you know what we found when we got out of there, Journal? All the surviving goblins back at the T-I-A-B were missing, captured and enslaved (AGAIN!!!) by Gallywix. So we met up with Thrall and his orc buddies on the coast, and instead of getting to take a break, I got to deal with the Alliance. In the most explosion-y way possible. They promised me I would get ride to where my associates are being held, but it's gonna have to wait until I've had a good long rest.