26 March 2011

Goblin Journal: Sprinkie in Orgrimmar

Well Journal, Kalimdor has been treating me well since what remains of the Bilgewater Cartel trudged into Orgrimmar. Hellscream sure was a sight - a much redder and grumpier version of Thrall. His neck is probably as big around as my hips! At any rate, he reluctantly agreed to let us squat in the city in exchange for eternal servitude to the Horde. Just kidding. Only not really. If I have some beefed-up guard tell me "Hellscream's eyes are upon you!" one more time, I swear I'm going to grow 4 feet taller, become a Night Elf, and move to Moonglade.

As you may have guessed, not everyone is excited about the conscription. But plenty are making the "venture" work for them. Like Auctioneer Kuvi, for example. She's been doing market research for me on cloth and ore - I got a whole folder of bids and buyouts in my specialized markets that's giving me the competition in listing auctions and getting my fortune back together. She even gave me helpful gold-to-macaroons comparisons until I had the conversion rates sorted.

I knew her back in Kezan, having given some guest lectures in her Auction House Economics class. ("Minimizing Auction House Fees and Casualties: Making Smoke Bombs Work for You" was a particular favorite. Shame I lost the slides to it.) And to think - she didn't even graduate, what with the whole exploding volcano ordeal, and now she's putting her major to work in a central trading hub! She even gives me discounted listing fees. When I asked her about it, she said:

"Well, I know what you did to get us off of Kezan, and how you helped us get food at the Town-In-A-Box, and saved us from being Gallywix's Kaja'mite slaves, and met the orcs and all..."

I guess when you put it that way, there's plenty to appreciate. Good kid; I should take her and her brother out for dinner some time.

She isn't the only one giving me perks - I also get half-price Alchemy training, and time-and-a-half mage lessons at no extra cost. Then there's the myriad little bonuses from all the relationships I personally cultivated on Kezan to maximize PR. The hardest part now is learning who in my catalogue of acquaintances didn't make it off Kezan or the other Lost Isles.

Which...I've been trying to avoid it, but Pops was one of them, following Mom, although it's been a while for her. And to think neither took me to see the trading extravaganza at Booty Bay...

They told me about it on Gallywix's slave boat. Apparently old Griddle lingered too long gathering his valuables and got caught in a volcano-induced engineering explosion. Eerily similar to how Mom died, only without the volcano.

So it falls to me to carry on the family legacy. And I want to - like I said, re-amassing fortune. But I'll definitely need an apprentice, even though I don't know if I'll be able to pass much along to them. What used to be my hobby is now my primary use of time - I'm working as a mage for the Horde. I do enjoy using my spells, although they are admittedly pretty rusty. But my exploits in Azshara have been successful, although I get paid significantly less out there than I do holed up with my banker's book and auction slips. Even more mysterious to me is that I get a certain amount of satisfaction advancing the interests of the Horde (provided, of course, that Hellscream's eyes are NOT upon me. I mean, how could he even see everything? And why would he want to watch an old lady like me changing robes or answering the call of nature? Or reading a book, or riding around in my trike, or sleeping


1) Finally achieve childhood dream of seeing Booty Bay
2) Receive famous commendation (preferably non-combat)
3) Acquire apprentice for Sparklefizz name
4) Profit

Recruitment ad draft 1

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